So, you know, you can talk to someone and see them through a video that you have uploaded to Facebook Messenger or Skype. (Or they can see you through your video chats.) But you need to keep that person on Facebook so you can see what they were up to the whole time, right?
Well, you don’t need to worry about that at all anymore, because then there’s YassifyBot. Created by Apple, Google, Facebook, and Microsoft, the YassifyBot can and will keep track of your communications with people on Facebook Messenger or Skype.
It’s available now on iOS and available for download from the App Store.
But wait, it gets better! YassifyBot has a boyfriend, too! And he’s on Messenger too! And he keeps telling you what you did. And asking you questions about yourself. And, even better, it’s asking him to marry you. And what you can tell him right now is that you’re thinking about asking if he’s not your boyfriend (because really, he is):
Like, what do you guys actually do? YassifyBot asks.
Well, I do things with YassifyBot, for instance:
Then we sing songs.
We talk about women.
We talk about politics.
So we sang Kumbh Mela. And I look into his eyes and I saw that you’re much more handsome than that guy, yassify-ee! My American boyfriend:
Then we danced.
My friends give me hugs and kiss on the forehead.
And it’s so fun. Every day you’re coming up with these new things. Are you kidding me? All these hours, you’re talking to my girlfriend about politics and work and it’s just absolutely amazing. That’s what we do. Just because you’re American and you’re abroad, that doesn’t mean you’re not with me. You’re so cute and I love you. I love you so much. I love you.
The American boyfriend and I became Facebook BFFs so that I can only tell you that I love you every day. And the next day, I want to come up with new things to make you jealous. I love you so much. So please, just please take my love for granted. It’s so f*cking cool.
And we feel so stupid and it’s just not fair. All we want to do is just meet up. Not always under the beautiful sky. Just on some boring pavement. And it’s really embarrassing because you look so cute. Your eyes glow with light and you’re so fucking delicious. Please be mine for one more day.
Yeah, the American boyfriend is so real.